so things have been going great... i haven't been happier than i have been in these past 3 months. well... until this past week. i don't know what has gotten into me... actually i do. i hate feeling like this though... feeling so alone and helpless and stupid. i hate why i feel this way... and i hate the people that have something to do with this. i'm so tired of feeling this way... i want it to stop. i keep trying to make it go away... to make the people go away... to make this pain go away.
i know that i'll never let the people who this is towards see this... but i need to write it down... say it... get it out... and this is the only place that i can do that.
i hate what you did to me
it's like everything you ever said to me were lies
i confided in you
you knew more about me than i knew myself
you told me that you'd always be there
and that i could always trust you
well where did that go
what happened to the friendship
to the caring
where are you now
where were you when i really needed you
what did i do to deserve this treatment
i didn't think i ever hurt you
and if i did
i am sorry
too bad you don't feel the same
and to think
i used to care what you thought
i wanted to know your opinions
i thought that somehow i mattered to you
but i guess i was just being foolish
naive
why did i pour out my heart to you
and think that you would hold on
to all of the little drops
that fell into your hands
i almost wish that i could take it all back
all the words i said to you
all of the tears i cried
all of the moments that i waited
and all of the memories i have of you
you have made me miserable
you said that you would never hurt me
but you should never make promises
that you can't keep
what does any of this matter though
it won't make any difference
you're happy now
i guess you weren't when i was around
i'm just sorry that i have to be in so much pain
and that i still have to care
when i don't think you ever did
